What if I didn’t put my yoga mat there?

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This morning I went to a yoga class and I was the first person there. I don’t normally go to this studio and I figured it was going to be a small class since I was the first person there six minutes before class started. But, I slightly panicked about where to put my mat. Do I put it up front? In the back? I don’t want the instructor to be annoyed if I’m in the back in a small class (sidenote, as an instructor, it’s the worst when you have a small class and everyone is in the back hiding while you have to stay up front on the bike, mat, etc.). Do I face this direction or that? Do I want to be under a heater or close to the mirror? So many thoughts before 6am. I ended up choosing a spot in the middle, not under a heater, and not near the mirror.

Soon after I laid down my mat, three other people walked in a laid their mats close (but not too close) to mine. I started to think about how the class would have been set up differently if I put my mat in the front corner. What if I started in the front row? Would everyone else then follow suit? Some instructors often say, “you’ll never again be in this same room with these same people in these exact same spots and this environment.” This thought then led me down a rabbit hole of other thoughts. Thoughts that I often have and think about…

Every single decision that you’ve made has led you to the exact moment where you are right now. Is it a good place? A place you’d like to improve? I’m not talking about big decisions–marriage, buying a home, etc.–I’m talking about the smallest, tiny decisions–taking a shower, locking the door, leaving five minutes late.

If my yoga mat was in another spot of the room, someone else would have set up their mat differently. How would that have affected their practice? Their day? Maybe nothing would have changed. Maybe it would change everything.

What if I would have never gone over to Kenzie’s (my now best friend) house to jump on her trampoline even when I hated her when I was in fourth grade? What if I would have decided to go to one of the other colleges I had scholarships to? What if I wouldn’t have gone to get drinks with those guys after a work event where I first heard about Ryan? What if I went out to dinner with my girlfriends like I was supposed to instead of meeting Ryan for a date? What if I went out with that other guy? What if I stayed at my first job? What if I actually let my hair grow? What if I didn’t turn around to make sure my curling iron was off? What if I didn’t drink that last drink?

Life could have been so different. Maybe better. Maybe worse. Maybe I’d be just as happy. Maybe I’d be in another state with babies, or not married, or without a dog, or with five dogs. Each and every decision I have made has led me to this place. Writing this blog will change something about my day. If I hadn’t gone to yoga, I wouldn’t be writing. If I wasn’t writing, I’d be working. Maybe in my office. Maybe not.

You get it. My point is, small decisions are as important as big decisions. The things you say, what you do, how you treat people–it affects everything. Think a little harder today. Be a little better. Maybe think about something that might be a mindless, everyday task. Everything matters. Every move you make matters. You matter.

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