Four years

To my husband–

Four years ago we did this…

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and this…

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and this…

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and this…

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Four years ago was the best day of my life. I realize I just had a child a few weeks agoand I’m supposed to say that the day I gave birth was the best day of my life–but honestly, that shit hurt, and nothing about my wedding day hurt. It was the most perfect, pain free day surrounded by my favorite people where I got to marry my very favorite person. That was the best day ever. (Maybe once I’m totally healed from childbirth I’ll change my mind on this, but for now, I’m sticking with it.)

And now, here we are, with this:

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I was never that person who wanted to have kids–and I don’t think you were either. We had a strong phase in our relationship where we thought we would be happy just married with lots of money, and spend our time traveling the world (there is NOTHING wrong with this, by the way). Then one day, probably when you were playing with our nieces or nephews, I decided that you were meant to be a dad. I couldn’t imagine you any other way. The thought of you teaching our kids sports or feeding them or rocking them to sleep made my heart melt, and I knew in that moment that I wanted to have kids with you. And at the same time,  I felt comfortable saying I wanted to have kids because I knew that with you by my side, I’d be a good mom and it would be the best adventure.

So here we are, 4 years later. New career goals, a new baby, same dog…but with a whole new outlook on life. Thank you for giving me the first 3 years of our marriage to just focus on us. To drink lots of wine, go to a million concerts, travel, golf, sleep in, change careers…to become the best us. I hope that years down the road our relationship is still our top priority, because in order to be the best parents, we need to be the best us. And I hope we still squeeze in a few concerts and wine nights as well.

If the first 3.5 weeks of Reagan’s life has proven anything, it’s that parenting is hard. But you’ve already shown up, been there for me, and taken care of us when we needed you the most. I’m confident that we have got this whole parenting thing, and even though I know it’s going to throw us for lots of loops, I’m confident in us. We’ve got this.

Thanks for the best 4 years ever. I can’t wait for the next 44. I love you.

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